Firsts

In roughly one month and three days I'll be boarding my first airplane flight, crossing my first national border, having my first trip over the ocean, and having my first encounter with customs. I'll say my first word in Danish and I'll (hopefully) make a good first impression on people that I'm going to be staying with for months. I'll touch my first bit of Danish soil and I'll eat my first meal in a foreign country! I'll be more than a thousand miles away from my mother for the first time... 

So many firsts to look forward to, yet it's so easy to be scared of them. For the past couple of weeks you could usually find me sitting in my room, stressing out about all of the firsts. "How am I going to...?" "What if....?" "AND IF I FORGET MY PANTIES, THEN WHAT?" Through all of my crying fits and "what if"s I was slowly but surely sucking the fun out of the time that I had left. I realized that worrying about things wasn't how I wanted to spend the rest of my time in the U.S. Also, not without some help from my best friend, I learned that the firsts shouldn't be a thing to dread! Firsts symbolize growth and independence! Firsts symbolize the lasts, and the lasts are what I'm most excited for. 

The last time I'll have to sit around and WISH that I could have some of the experiences that my friends have had. The last time I'll be able to say that English is the only language that I know well enough to hold a conversation! The last time I'll be convinced that our American "Danishes" actually come from Denmark! Take that! :) The last time that I'll be able to lie and say that I won't miss my mommy, because it will be quite evident once I'm away from her...  

In roughly one year I'll be boarding another old plane flight, crossing some ol' national border (national border? who cares? old news!), seeing the ocean for the bazillionth time, and going through customs again. I'll come back speakin' some Danish (turned out I was a natural, whatevs) and fighting off all of the people who are attacking my doorstep to come see me. I'll eat "Danishes" and realize that they're not even close to as good as the real thing, and when my mom teases me about how much I missed her I'll act like I don't remember ever saying anything about it. ;) 

I'll come back changed, inside and out. I've heard that a year abroad will do that to you. I'll come back with a greater character than I ever would have gotten from staying home, afraid of things that could go wrong. So, firsts, try to phase me, but you won't. You can't scare me now. After realizing what I'll gain from you, you look about as frightening as a teensy puppy. That's right. Not at all.